i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize