you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
