I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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