Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
