i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
