White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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