Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize