I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
