I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Randomize
