I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
