She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
