i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!