Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.

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  (248): I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose. http://tfl.nu/ckrs
  Replies (12) Good night (1212) Bad night (652)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.

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  (903): I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks. http://tfl.nu/2ww3
  Replies (11) Good night (510) Bad night (2382)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?

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  (412): Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went? http://tfl.nu/2c9n
  Replies (22) Good night (2838) Bad night (714)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.

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  (732): my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink. http://tfl.nu/ojx1
  Replies (39) Good night (1101) Bad night (3757)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.

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  (407): Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store. http://tfl.nu/m9df
  Replies (77) Good night (3256) Bad night (716)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?

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  (248): I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape? http://tfl.nu/ekyk
  Replies (32) Good night (592) Bad night (4574)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?

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  (785): Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin? http://tfl.nu/3vvd
  Replies (5) Good night (3470) Bad night (700)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.

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  (215): he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out. http://tfl.nu/9ic8
  Replies (8) Good night (4735) Bad night (918)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?

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  (623): Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub? http://tfl.nu/jp28
  Replies (5) Good night (2172) Bad night (816)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.

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  (314): Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation. http://tfl.nu/d9l2
  Replies (4) Good night (837) Bad night (1968)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.

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  (807): If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend. http://tfl.nu/60cd
  Replies (13) Good night (2383) Bad night (776)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.

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  (647): Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again. http://tfl.nu/e5f9
  Replies (4) Good night (448) Bad night (1174)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course

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  (239): Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course http://tfl.nu/4x8m
  Replies (2) Good night (647) Bad night (318)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.

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  (931): Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close. http://tfl.nu/0xt0
  Replies (3) Good night (870) Bad night (644)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.

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  (248): The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager. http://tfl.nu/apbs
  Replies (0) Good night (452) Bad night (563)

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