Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.