Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
