Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

I did the walk of shame to another booty call

(269): View more from Michigan

I don't think that should turn me on, but it does

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(516): View more from New York

i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.

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(613): View more from Ontario

It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(210): View more from Texas

Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight

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(205): View more from Alabama

I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself

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(651): View more from Minnesota

these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"

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(360): View more from Washington

Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?

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