If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
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I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
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i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.