I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.