Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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