Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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