he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Four minutes until I can fart!
either way he was missing a nipple.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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