Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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