I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
