oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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