how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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