so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
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my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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