Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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