I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
