just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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