whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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