The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize