i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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