she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
