Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
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I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
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The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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