Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
