There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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