Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just want nice things and good sex
did you just send me my own nude
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
