Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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