i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
