So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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