Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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