If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
