Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my being single is dangerous.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
