i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
