I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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