She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
