I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize