I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
