ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
