We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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