The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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