he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize