I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
foreskin is a definite game changer
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
