you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
