Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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