TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
you made out with another girl for some wings
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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