ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
