6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
