Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
