he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
