i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
