i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
