We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
