the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
