it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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