Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
