My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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