:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
