im holly from the hills drunk
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
