I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
