Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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