I hate all girls vehemently.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
