A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
