these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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