so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Come on in and take your pants off
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