A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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