dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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