His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
