I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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