My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I CAN MOONWALK!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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